I hated her guts and wanted her to leave as well. However, I had made my dying wife a pledge, though her mother didn't know it, to care for the elderl... woman. She had easily forced the pledge from my lips, as my wife always knew how to use my love to get what she wanted.When you loved a person, it did not matter.My wife had told me something else at the time, something I felt was absurd - that her mother loved me and would do anything for me. Even though the setting for our conversation was. I grew up in a rural white community and I found the mixture of cultures in the city to be fascinating and yet almost alien compared to my life in the country. I finally got a job at a night club and I was really nervous the first night. The club was pretty vacant except for some regulars. At the first table I stopped at my hands were so unsteady that I dropped my tray which held all the money from my till. I felt so embarrassed as quarters were rolling all over the floor and I had to scramble. I remember having anold dress of my sisters that was in the dress up box. I wore it any chanceI got, and even then, I knew that I was a girl and I also knew this wassomehow wrong. This was reinforced when the dress was suddenlyunavailable.I secretly borrowed clothes from my sister for the next 14-16 years, thesewere worn as often as possible, often under my regular boy clothes. I knewI should not feel bad about my desire to be a girl, this wasn't a choiceor something I had asked for, it was. I couldn’t say anything in response, only groan as Monica did exactly what Sam described and pushed the cucumber back into me, this time faster than before. I was already shaking, keening as the cucumber went in..and out...and back in. I stared unseeingly at my surroundings, my head swinging side to side, hair sticking to my back. I lost track of everything, and god knows if anyone else came into the kitchen because the only thing I could focus on was the sensations being wracked on me. Sam’s.
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